Disney is reportedly working on another live-action remake of one of its most beloved films. This time it’s the Pixar classic Toy Story that’s getting a live-action facelift, with Jon Favreau allegedly in talks to direct the picture. According to a source close to the project, the House of Mouse wants Favreau because “he made it look like lions can talk, so this should be a piece of piss.”
A handful of actors have so far been confirmed to star in the film. Tom Hanks will be reprising the role of Woody and is believed to be thrilled to get to wear a cowboy hat in “real life.” Jason Statham, meanwhile, has been lined up to play Buzz Lightyear. Statham’s reportedly very excited to be playing the world’s most famous toy astronaut and is alleged to have begun a stringent workout regime that’ll get his chin to the correct size before shooting starts in 2023.
Rounding out the toy cast, we have Clint Eastwood as Mr Potato Head, Jon Hamm is playing Hamm, and Maggie Smith as Bo Peep. Will Smith is believed to be in negotiations to play Bullseye – Woody’s faithful steed. It’s been reported that Disney wasn’t initially interested in casting him in the film, but after he proved he could be a jackass on the world stage at the 2022 Oscars, the studio reconsidered its position.
As for the human cast? Well, Disney has turned to MCU star Tom Holland to play the nine-year-old Andy, while Will Poulter has been lined up to play his toy destroying neighbour Sid because, as our source put it, “we saw Twitter thought it was a good idea, so we did it.”
Tom Cruise was originally linked to the project and was believed to be interested in playing Buzz Lightyear. Apparently, Disney thought they could save some of the VFX budget using Cruise, as he’s not much taller than the toy he’d be playing. Unfortunately, talks broke down, though, when it became clear his demand to be taken to space to “get in the headspace of an astronaut” was unfeasible.
Disney’s using the opportunity to cross-pollinate their burgeoning live-action universe with some of their more popular franchises. It’s not been confirmed, so take it with a pinch of salt, but we’ve heard that a Captain America action figure and a Grogu nightlight will play a vital role in the new film.
Production on the Toy Story live-action remake is believed to be being expedited to get it in cinemas by late 2023. As our source explained, “these live-action remakes are a license to print money. People will watch anything if you slap a logo they recognise on it. Do you remember Alice in Wonderland 2? We still don’t know how we got away with that.”