Greetings from Transylvania! Or as I like to call it, the depths of Hell, which is where I genuinely wish I was after seeing the new trailer for 2022 ‘comedy movie‘ The Munsters. Based on the ’60s TV series of the same name, The Munsters franchise started its life as a quick-witted, Golden Globe-nominated sitcom designed to parody the slice-of-life family genre. It focused on the exploits of Herman Munster, otherwise known as Frankenstein Munster, his vampire wife, Lily Munster, and their two children.
In a similar vein to What We Do In the Shadows, what made the original Munsters sitcom great is that it was acutely aware of its shit-ness, and that its shitness was by design to parody other sitcoms. Also, it was the ’60s, so expectations were low in terms of VFX and believability.
But what happens if you try and take that self-aware charm and transport it into 2022? Well, you get a trailer that looks more akin to a porn parody than it does an actual family movie. Except even porn parodies usually have a higher production value.
Take, for example, Sheri Moon Zombie’s opening line as Lily Munster in the trailer: “I want a man who, everytime he enters my crypt, it’s like a stake through my dead black heart.” But it’s OK! Before you have a chance to get stuck in the dryer or answer the door to a pizza delivery boy, Victor Frankenstein pops up and announces to Lily that she’s going to “whip [him] up a hubby.”
Cue Jeff Daniel Phillips, whose Herman Munster garb appears to consist of a Hugh Hefner-like robe and a paper mache head covered in green, radioactive paint. As a writer, I’m meant to describe what’s going on with my words, but the cringey acting, Poundland makeup, and special effects, which look like they were done by a six-year-old on an iPad have left me genuinely lost for words.
So instead, I’ll leave you with some comments on the trailer from YouTube. “What a horrible day to have eyes,” one commenter wrote. “This looks like it was made in someone’s garage,” another added. “No jokes, not even the smallest tingle in my laugh muscles,” a third commenter said.
The Munsters, directed by Rob Zombie, will be released on Netflix later this year. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to see a man about some eye bleach.