What Is Dead May Never Die

After seeing the title of this Game of Thrones, you might be mistaken for thinking we’re going to finally see the return of the undead zombie things from last year. After all, surely we’re due another magical creature sighting soon? It’s been ages since we saw that dragon for five seconds in the season premiere.

Well, you’ll have to wait a bit longer; this one is mostly about Tyrion’s politicking and the rigidity of Renly Baratheon’s penis.

I was only moaning last week that it’s time for a clear look at this oft-mentioned campaigner for the crown and now here he is, looking less grim than everyone else. Every other major leader on Game of Thrones looks like they’ll stress themselves to death before the fighting gets going. Even Joffrey, who is about seven.

But Renly seems young, vigorous, vital and troubled only by whether he can keep his homosexuality secret from the populous. So far, he’s the only King applicant besides Robb Stark who doesn’t seem like a lunatic or a bastard, though. I imagine he’ll be lynched by a homophobic mob within a few weeks.

Speaking of King Robb Of The North, where’s he been for the last couple of weeks? I know Robb’s the idealistic, deserving hero, and therefore the most boring, but they ought to throw him the occasional scene, rather than deserting him for the cooler kids with their personality problems and amusing sexual kinks.

Meanwhile, Tyrion is playing more amusing games to whittle down the rank and file, and Sansa finally gets someone to talk to. Daenerys missing, presumed standing around in the desert. Poor Arya is really beaten down, as she gets to witness this week's mandatory Moment Of Horrific Violence.

And Theon is trying to decide whether to turn evil or not. He makes good progress by not groping his sister this week. He even finally asks her why exactly she let him grope her so merrily in the first place, which you’d think ought to have come up sooner. You have to feel the poor kid’s pain, although I’d have felt it more if the show had successfully put across who the hell he was last season.

In short, another wildly disparate Game Of Thrones episode. Part of me misses when this show was structured more cleanly as Saga Of The Starks, it felt more coherent. Nonetheless, the intrigue is building well. Surely they’ve got to stop the introductory phase and give us some big flashpoints soon, though?

Game Of Thrones airs on Mondays at 9PM on Sky Atlantic. More details on their official site.

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