Legends of Tomorrow: 3.12 The Curse of the Earth Totem

PIRATES! Finally the Legends tackle some pirates – and not Time-Pirates this time, proper pirates with beards and hats and swords, who say ‘arghhhh’!

After Sara decides to take a break and go on a date with Ava, the rest of the team tackle the latest aberration themselves. This involves dressing up as pirates! For some reason (I think to avoid a bar fight?) Nate and Ray convince a tavern full of pirates that Amaya is a fearless pirate captain, more wicked than Blackbeard (who in an opening scene was shown fleeing his girlfriend who had been possessed by a leafy green jewel!). They all team up to find the jewel before The Darhk’s and Amaya gets to do a bit more than just frown disapprovingly. Great music as always, with the usual Legends of Tomorrow themes and stings getting a Pirates of the Caribbean twist.

Rip is up to his old tricks this week, getting Wally West drunk (on Cisco’s speedster Wine) so he’ll sneak into the Time Bureau and steal stuff for him. Though it is fun when the final thing Wally has to nick is Rip’s coat. He loves that coat.

What is lovely this week is the progression of Sara and Ava’s relationship, with the two women trying to go on a normal date. Sara especially seems determined to have a “proper” relationship after her history and her anxiety that Ava won’t be interested in her because of her unconventional lifestyle is a sweet contrast to the usually sexually confident Sara. Their dating subplot comes to a head with a fun argument in which Ava says she doesn’t want Sara to change and the two share an old-school Hollywood Movie kiss... then Kung fu fight some pirates on a spaceship. Awww, young love.

This is probably the weakest episode this season. While there is nothing especially wrong with it and it certainly ticks all the Legends of Tomorrow boxes (Historical figure, check. Nonsensical science, check. Some characters just chilling out on the ship with no urgency, check.) but it never reaches the crazy heights promised by the premise. Jonathan Cake is a good Blackbeard, a cowardly rouge with a smidge of Jack Sparrow rather than a vicious killer setting light to his own beard but we don’t get to know him as effectively as Barnum or Helen of Troy.

Maisie Richardson-Sellers is good in the episode, flexing her native (more or less) accent to play pirate and this episode reminded me that I actually like her, just not Amaya. Unfortunately, it also reaffirmed my feelings that Amaya is a terrible character.

It turns out there are in fact six totems similar to Amya’s, kind of like six… stones. Each one with a specific power, such as life, earth, Tesser… er… I mean animal. So they have to collect together the six infin… I mean totems before the mysterious figure pulling the string from the shadows, Tha… I mean Mallus can get them. So the show gets a new plot motivator, the search for the totems. Damian and Nora manage to steal the new totem and Amaya’s but not before Ray shoots Nora with his anti-magic gun, effectively killing her. He, obviously, returns unknown to the rest of the team to swap the cure for the totem but, inevitably, gets double crossed and kidnapped which means... next week is a Ray episode! Yay!

Not as much of a swashbuckler as it should have been but Legends of Tomorrow has earned a loose episode here or there and it was still a lot of fun!

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