Live Blog: The Great British Bake Off: 8.01

I said I wasn't going to do this. I said that when GBBO moved to Channel 4 it was dead to me, that it wouldn't be the same, that on principle I wouldn't sully the memory of the seven wonderful series of GBBO that the BBC had given us. Even as we approached the start of the new series I was stubbornly refusing to watch, convinced that this series was going to be nothing more than the equivalent of a sponge cake with too much raising agent added to it: something that would rise and rise and rise before collapsing in on itself in the middle to make an ugly, inedible mess.

And yet, here I am. My ability to resist sniping at television I actually adore for an hour on a public platform is about as strong as my ability to resist the cream in the bottom of the pot after you've eaten your scones in a cafe, so when TV@TDF invited me back to liveblog for them I fell into their arms with gratitude. I can't promise that this first blog – or indeed any of the subsequent blogs – will be anything more than petulant whining, but if it helps I'll try and put all the rude puns that Mel and Sue (RIP – retired in peace) would have brought to the table into it, too.

This week's GBBO snack is cherry bakewells, because that's the closest thing our corner shop had to cake that didn't have an experation date of 2037. I've got my laptop on my lap for blogging, my phone to my left to tweeting and my iPad to my right for hashtag scrolling. My body is ready, even if my soul is not. Let's bloody do this.

The Great British Bake Off

Initially broadcast on BBC one, but now on Channel 4, The Great British Bake Off is one of the biggest shows on UK television

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