X Factor - 2011 - Week Sixteen

It's the semi-finals, and four of the most forgettable acts ever are battling it out to be X Factor champion 2011. But how did they do?

Rebecca Brodeur — aka, The One Who Is Usually Asleep
Loved the Dermarettes again (sp?). Fell asleep for all the second songs. Thought the Motown songs went as expected. They can all sing, where they seem to differ these days is performance levels. Woke to hear Marcus getting not-great comments for his second song, but missed the performance. Not much more I can say. Louis’ comment about Berry Gordy was a bit embarrassing (since he is still alive!). Found Misha’s first performance a bit two dimensional, unlike Amelia’s – but for all their talents, I don’t really warm to either of the solo female contestants. Little Mix seem hugely popular, I find them interesting, but they forgot words and didn’t pull me in to their Motown entry. Judges being critical might help with the public vote though. It feels a bit manipulative, or maybe I’m inventing drama because I’m bored. As for Marcus, I think I enjoyed his first performance best of all the Motown covers. But apparently, his second song wasn’t great.

It still sends me to sleep pretty well though!

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Amy Jones — aka, The Reluctant Obsessive
Saturday: Wow. Misha sure did ruin one of my favourite songs, didn't she? Dancing In The Street is not a good song choice for her.

Apart from that, not a great deal to say about tonight. Little Mix are looking scarier and scarier each week, Amelia Lily is looking less scary each week, Misha bores me, Marcus is wonderful, Gary is a petulant child, the end.

Sad that the advert calling for contestants for next year means that there is going to be ANOTHER one of these fricking things next year for us to review. I'm tempted to throw my weight around as manager of the Television @ The Digital Fix section and get someone on the team to audition to give us an inside scoop.

Sunday: Wow, a group in the finals! Apart from that...meh. Does anyone else feel that Amelia Lily doesn't deserve to be here?

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Nick Bryan — aka, Mister Nice Guy
It’s X Factor semi-final time, and the remaining acts sing for their suppers. As I’ve said in previous reviews, we know what to expect from these people by now, so watching them do cover versions is increasingly dull. The Motown theme was at least a variation on the usual shouting or ballading.

Whereas the snappily named “Song That They Believe Can Get Them To The Final” meant pleading balladry across the board. Respect to Marcus for trying an upbeat song, although he was subsequently punished by the judging panel. Speaking of which, Louis Walsh has disappointed me. I hoped his lack of acts would let him really voice his opinions, but no, he’s just stopped trying.
The actual acts, well, they’ve long ago settled into their roles. Misha sang best, Marcus was entertaining, Little Mix were lovable, Amelia Lily was also there. Eviction prediction has to be Misha, because the public seem to despise her, and I don’t think a few rough comments for Little Mix will counteract that.

And the eventual winner: there doesn’t seem to be a Cardle-esque obvious favourite. I think Amelia might have the broadest appeal, but it could be any of the remaining three. You’d really think that would be exciting instead of boring.

Sam Burnett — aka, The One Who Thinks He's Simon Cowell
Sunday: So there we have it, a fittingly underwhelming final line-up for an underwhelming series. It's no surprise that Misha has gone home - she was never well liked as a contestant but was always head and shoulders above the rest in terms of talent and pop star package. Her only rival in terms of creativity was the mental Kitty.

But anyway - enough of the obituary. Next week's shark-jumping Wembley live final will be enough of an obituary for the X Factor itself, and certainly the last time I watch it. I was genuinely hoping for a Britain's Got Talent-style triumphant return from Simon Cowell but he's with his new family in America now. We shall have to learn to accept life without daddy.

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