The Apprentice 11.05. Children's Books

From the opening strains of Dance of the Knights by Sergei Prokofiev you get the impression that taking part in The Apprentice is a serious business. This week's task was creating a children's book for 3-5 year olds with an audiobook. Obviously this would not be child's play.

From the outset Lord Sugar pushed for Sam to be PM for Team Connexus, an invitation he did not turn down. The boy has a degree in English Literature but decision making was not his forte as he seemed confused by his own ideas. Eventually he decided upon Snottydink, the sneezing "mythical creature that's dragon-like with maybe some elephant qualities". Don't forget, this was aimed at 3-5 year olds.

Charleine became Team Versatile's PM simply because she has kids. Questions were asked, notably by April, and Charleine countered by arrogantly asking her what writing skills she had. The reply was pure gold, "My degree is in Creative Writing." Despite such talent the story was relatively simple; Bizzie's the bee's First Adventure yet the teams set up was far more complex. Richard was appointed sub-team leader which was a token gesture as Charleine would only speak to David, pretty childish stuff actually.

Somehow Sam eventually dithered his way to a script which managed to include the words, 'quell', 'ado' and 'rife'. The play/focus group was not impressed but he would later argue that this was a book for children to learn with. Meanwhile, Charleine's pitching managed to sound both wooden and flustered, cringey and confused which was an impressive feat but then English was not her strongest point.

Selling was not anyone's strong point either. A question about discount percentage stumped Natalie who seemed to be suffering with the sniffles, an excuse Brett was not accepting but then he was in the Royal Navy. Sam ended up in Charing Cross which is notorious for books, rare ones, of course there is strictly limited stock of this first edition but no-one bites. Selina is a little more desperate and admits she's under a 'severe time constraint', words a shopkeeper longs to hear. Sam was disappointed and uttered words no man should ever speak; "It's like giving birth to a child and someone offering £2 for it."

With the sums added up Team Versatile triumphed with sales of £690.10 to Connexus' £587.25, to which Charleine toasted herself, charming. Inevitably Sam dithered on who to bring back and eventually settled on Brett and Natalie. As sub team leader Brett failed to gain enough sales yet was given a reprieve. In the end, Lord Sugar huffed, puffed and blew Natalie away for her immaturity and terrible pitching.

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