Television Top Trumps – Logan Huntzberger vs Cary Agos
Earlier this week we all found out that Netflix is bringing back Gilmore Girls. So, inevitably, the news prompted many overly detailed arguments about who Rory’s true soulmate was. But those debates are missing the really important question – and not just because Rory’s soulmate is clearly none of the fools she was paired with in the original run.
Matt Czuchry played one of Rory’s original love interests, and he’s since abandoned Yale and Stars Hollow and gone on to star in The Good Wife. But is lawyer Cary Agos better than college boy Logan Huntzberger?
Let’s see how they compare:
Logan: Classic mid-00s college boy – all questionable sweaters and strangely loose jeans. Inexplicably owns a suit of armor, yet never actually wears it, thus missing an opportunity to earn a few more points. 6/10
Cary: Suits. A few more suits. Then maybe another suit. He may have been spotted in jeans once, but generally it’s all suits. They are quite nice though. 8/10
Logan: Questionable at the best of times. In fact, it’s something of a mystery as to how he even managed to graduate – perhaps it’s his irritating natural intellect and charming good looks. Or maybe his Dad paid someone, before he gave him a job. Which Logan then cocked up. 3/10
Cary: Relentless. Cary loves law, and law sort of loves Cary. As much as it can love anyone who loses their job and then gets demoted at their new employers and then is passed over for partner. And then has a stint in jail. Maybe it’s an unrequited thing. 9/10
TASTE IN WOMEN
Logan: Impeccable, for he loves Rory Gilmore, paragon of all that is great and good in television. You just have to remember to look past the time he banged all his sister’s bridesmaids, but if Rory can, so can we. 9/10
Cary: Masochistic. Kalinda is magnificent in her own way, but Cary gets very little from his love for her. It’s a bit like his love for law all over again, but at least law makes him rich and keeps him in good suits 3/10
Logan: His terrible rich Daddy won’t let him be who he wants to be, which is apparently a bit of a wastrel. 7/10
Cary: His terrible lobbying Daddy is only ever in it for himself, when all Cary wants is a bit of acknowledgement and love. And presumably to go back in time and not be thrown out as soon as he turned 18. 9/10
Logan: His antics with secret society The Life and Death Brigade lead him to break a few laws. But that’s not enough, so he also steals a yacht. Daddy’s excellent lawyers keep him out of jail, but he still gets his comeuppance when he jumps out of a plane for the funsies. 10/10
Cary: Actually does end up in jail, but loses points as it’s for something he didn’t do. Also sneaks around and steals clients when starting up his law firm, but as that’s not actually the illegal type of stealing the best we can do is a couple of points for effort. 3/10
Logan: His rival for Rory’s love is Marty, a man so timid that a kitten could knock him over with a half-arsed pounce. And of course, he fights with his Dad about his future, and loses. 4/10
Cary: While he’s initially in competition with Alicia, it’s States Attorney Jimmy Castro who proves to be a real great big bad bastard. And then there’s his Dad, who was Lex Luthor in a previous life but who still comes begging his son for help. 8/10
AND THE WINNER IS….
Cary just sneaks into the lead, with 40 points compared to Logan’s 39. If Logan can’t beat a character who isn’t even in the top five characters of The Good Wife, then no wonder he didn’t win Rory in the end. Now we just need to hope that the new episodes of Gilmore Girls find her a worthy suitor. Perhaps Will Gardner?
Last updated: 30/05/2018 18:43:43