Greatest TV Characters - Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation
Nick Offerman’s Ron Ulysses Swanson is a slow burner. The serious, moustache sporting head of the Pawnee Parks Department. He’s Leslie Knope’s long-suffering boss who hates all forms of government (despite working within it). Yet despite his hard exterior and dead-pan persona he manages to be one of the best characters in an American TV series we’ve seen.
He has two ex wives - both called Tammy who are possibly the only two people (or things for that matter) that he fears. He has a love for whisky, food (as long as it was once an animal) and HATES skimmed milk.
Why He Is Such A Great Character
Ron Swanson is a legend. He truly is the manliest man who ever did man. Ron’s hate of modern technology runs through his character (as long as that tech isn’t some kind of perfect steak cooking barbeque).
With a diet consisting almost entirely of meat, mostly steak, and an ability to perfectly fashion a complex piece of furniture with his own hand - there’s no doubt he’s the person you’d want by your side in some post-apocalyptic world. Yet, he’s also the heart of the show - that tough exterior hides one of the most loyal, caring members of the Pawnee parks department; a man who can offer advice based on real experiences and one who’ll keep even the darkest secret for a friend.
Oh, and he keeps a secret stash of bacon in the crawl space above his office.
There are far, far too many outstanding pearls of Ron’s wisdom to share them all, but here are some of the best quotes.
Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat. And cats are useless.
Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.
Strippers do nothing for me. BUT, I will take a free breakfast buffet. Any time, any place.
Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, but I still get to kill something.
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?