Canterbury - Thank You
Before we start let’s make it clear that Canterbury are giving this album away for free on the 23rd of November. They say they are sidestepping the file-sharing debate and realising that it’s “All about the music”. Swiftly coming back to reality now, the reason this is a freebie might well be that it is a turd that is beyond polishing. Free or not, still a turd. If you were to file-share it legions of sane minded individuals would campaign to government for your internet connection to be torn from your home and your fingers super-glued together.
Apparently recorded when the band were at school (primary maybe?) this is the most woeful attempt at trying to cater to an audience that I have heard. It is utterly soulless in its musical and lyrical content. ‘Hospital’ is perhaps the most insipid. Sounding like a reject from those JCB-loving Nizlopi chaps, it’s utterly horrific. Limp and lacklustre from start to finish, piled high with false sentiment and destined to soundtrack an advert for sanitary products.
The album lacks any continuity, other than being dire throughout. It desperately dives into a wide array of genres and spectacularly fails to deliver in any of them. Ready to walk into the record company office and play whatever “the kids” are into now - horrid ballads, pompous stadium-lite rock and misunderstood staccato indie are all on their curriculum vitae.
Maybe they should have paid more attention in school rather than recording this. Scribbling “a song that sounds like Jamie Cullum” on the back of a worksheet on oxbow lakes was never going to end well. By all means circle the 23rd on your calendar and download it just to find out for yourself if I’m just being horrible because one of them gave me a Chinese burn in assembly, or if it is indeed as bad as I reckon.