Girlyman - Everything's Easy
Weddings are horrible things. The stress of planning them is immense, crossing out names of people you actually like and want to come, yet keeping insane relatives that who you have to invite. And everything is so expensive! Money that could be spent on something great like ninja training is blown on flowers, orders of service and table centre-pieces. But worst of all is the music. Why on earth can’t you ever get decent wedding music?
This shower of layabouts are just the sort of band that gets booked for weddings. Your pissed Uncle Toby might try and shag the female singers, even though they politely decline his lewd, clumsy and frankly embarrassing advances. Granted their soft and gentle folky tones will surely delight the over 80s. But anyone with a pulse or a love of music may have an entirely different reaction.
If you find them playing at a wedding the only rational thing to do is storm the stage. Hurl mic-stands into the air, kick speakers over and jump in them. The racket you make banishing them will be preferable to anything on the album. You might even be asked to repeat it for the bride and groom’s first dance. Being competent does not preclude them from being shit. Their existence alone is reason enough to live in sin.
Last updated: 18/04/2018 16:59:11