OST : VA - Twilight Saga : New Moon

Because I’m not a girl, or twelve years old, what I can tell you about the ‘Twilight’ saga (has anything that can easily be labelled a ‘saga’ ever been anything other than overblown and choked by commercial avarice?) would leave room on the back of a postage stamp for your shopping list. With marker pen. Young vampires, American teens, melodrama, in and out of love at the drop of a cheerleader’s uniform? All that balls, I’m guessing. (I could ask my tween to clarify but I’d only mock and then she’d eye me with suspicion and disregard. Who needs any more of that, eh?)

If the soundtrack to the first film was kind of okay in a catch-me-in-a-good-mood kind of way, the sequel is something of an improvement. Because it gobbled up a brace of Paramore newies, the scene leaders are notably absent this time around. Highlights are Death Cab for Cutie’s brooding ‘ Meet Me on the Equinox’, in which they ape early Mercury Rev to effective effect, and Bon Iver and St Vincent who cuddle up on the spectral ‘Roslyn’. Tracks from the potentially interesting Band of Skulls, the often interesting Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and the mostly interesting Lykke Li are welcome. Less welcome are howlers from Muse (whose ‘I Belong to You’ sounds like a a bizarrely accurate send up of The Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘Ruby’), The Killers (thanks, Brandon – I’d say that particular cupboard needs a proper spring clean now) and f***ing Editors. Jeez. Will they never go away ? With the remainder a mix of throwaways by the kind of acts you know by name if not by their work, the collection inclines towards bearable. Which I’d rate a success as far as these things go. No Casacada, no Mika, no Pet Shop Boys. It’s mostly guitars played in black.

Quick tossed off closing quip. For an actress who appears vaguely capable (I thought she was focused and engaging in the Pang brothers’ slightly underrated ‘The Messengers’), Kristen Stewart should sue the graphics intern who’s managed to make her look miserable and ugly on the CD cover. Along with the poster art for the recent Jennifer Aniston ‘vehicle’ ‘Management’, in which our favourite wronged-by-Pitt lovely genuinely does look like somebody else, it’s art crime that would make even Bill Drummond catch his breath.

Overall

6

out of 10

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