Peter Andre - Insania

It's...just not right. Despite looking as though he was safely consigned to the dumper during the early nineties, ITV's I'm A Celebrity... dragged deep into the gutter to haul Peter Andre back into the public eye. In amongst keeping Pip Schofield in a career, giving that fool who plays Charlie MacDonald on Corrie a job and offering us Eamonn Holmes over breakfast, giving the man who made the sixpack'n'wet gel look briefly popular a second shot at success was a step too far for this increasingly low-rent commercial channel. Happily would I suffer a weekend of Hotels/Holidays/Underpants From Hell were it possible to avoid Peter Andre's rehabilitation but ITV, I'm guessing, didn't consider my offer worthy of a return call.

Sadly, it looks as though Peter Andre was doing some thinking in his years spent out of the charts. "Where are we going? Does anyone care?", he asks in the opening verse and, just in case you're thinking that maybe it's his career that's piqued his curiosity, Andre asks, "Take a look around at the technology we've found / Is it what we need or are we killing the sea?" Good lord above...

It'd be tempting, where you Andre's manager, to say to him that the average twelve-year-old who's going to spend their allowance on this single having seen Peter Andre wearing shorts, boots and a 3' long centipede in his hair cares not a jot about his thoughts on the sea. The bewildering success of Mysterious Girl bears this out and despite the pop sheen that glistens off Insania, the lyrics read as though Andre has spent the last few years grumbling about anything that caught his eye. Insania simply covers modern technology, the environment and life in this decade but expect the follow up album to include a song on how his movements aren't as regular as they used to be, that he'd prefer a night in front of the telly over a guaranteed offer in the bedroom and how the charts were a whole lot better back when he was still a fixture on the sofa on Going Live. Andre may well as escaped the dumper for a moment but, like signing a deal with the devil, it'll always come calling in the end.



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