Gang - Guess What You'll Find...

In the interests of me getting a sun-tan, here is the background ripped wholesale from their record company website:

GANG is Amanda Damron and Jaclyn McGraw, with The Big Kids (Nicole McGraw and Tim Sonnefeld). Amanda and Jaclyn provide the vocals, while the big kids administer the beats. Whether you are listening to their EP 'Guess What You'll Find...' or catching them live, take caution: you might find yourself trying out dangerous dance moves to a sound you've never heard before.

GANG blends rock and roll, hip-hop, club, dance, punk, and intergalactic madness straight from Pluto in such a way that you might say to yourself "Hey! I think this is my new favorite band!"

GANG resides in South Philadelphia, but is on a mission to bring it to the entire Universe.

From Hot Dog City Records.

Now here, in the interests of me being doped up on Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Tesco Cold and Flu - and having to go round the checkout 3 times to buy enough pills to keep me going (only 2x16 caplets per purchase, for my own safety) - is the review. Read at your own Beril.

Let us begin.

Rat Poison.

Sounding so cheap because they probably spent their entire budget re-renting Clerks and watching it again and again til their stupid asses hurt.

Coming up the stairs to the club and hearing the bass bouncing off the metal doors, with sampled drums being played under a lecture delivered by a 12-year old Alan Quatermass could not be any more fun than this. Flying aces. Fried gold. Can't dance? Tough, you're going to have to learn right quick. And as Brian Tracy would say on one of his "Secrets of Time Management" CDs - "These rats are fat, and back, and ready to attack!"

Should likely have been the theme to Rocky Balboa?



Fade in to bassy hook, bit sluggish. My head is tapping on the side of the bus window. Call to small arms, oooh swearing. Oh Superman! Cake are running the race, they're going for style. They claim to overrule all mass media. But they want stealth bombers.

Got bored here. Shampoo without the obvious irony. Maybe they hid this second so you still give them a break because Rat Poison was really pretty good.

Dance Party

Pugwall's Orange Organics at their best. Laughing along to their own songs. As they beg their trashy mom drunk on Supermalt to let them dress like Alice from "Wait Til Your Father Gets Home" but slightly more hot. Their big cousin heard 'Bat Out Of Hell' and wanted some big chords to mix it up, breaking out the Bontempi from his Gran's loft and finally soldering the metal bits from Operation all over the circuitboard.

The only thing you need to know about this track is "they want to have a dance party". What the hell else is there to want!? Yaaay.

I've cheered up no end, and I've had the 'flu all week, and the sun's out and I've avoided going shopping with the bird. So sweet.

Past, Present, Future

Yie-ar-Kung Fu. Kung Fu Master. Way of The Exploding Fist. Saboteur. via Ubik's Music and OCR Paint Studio. The game is truly given away to their theatre school background by the quite frankly Callas-like claim that their heart's desire is to be in Social Studies class. Sung by Miss Piggy, with Simon in The Land of Chalk Drawings playing drums like he just fell off the back of his bike. That's the best that I can tell it.

Nolan Bushnell would be proud.

Dance This Mess Around

Coming from the Welsh valleys you could not have built a better vehicle for that vocal. Yeah we remember when we were your man. Aren't you China Forbes?. Stop. Turn around. God, who hasn't been stuck with their needy spouse demanding to be danced with, or finding some drunk bit of fluff at Cleopatra's Nitespot and they throw themselves onto the carpet, claim their father loved them too much and can it be too little to ask that you listen to. their. incessant. whining. Then Dexy's comes on and they run off to jump around like a pixie with the subs from the rugby B-team.

Walking along the street in Boston a little ways behind your friend, and she says "Hey you guys, are you in a band called Slow Folk?" and laughing like your guts hurt. YeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahYeah.

Buy it on iTunes or here, it's not on Amazon:



out of 10

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