Bo Selecta - Proper Crimbo
As has always been between myself and Bo Selecta, I so wanted to dislike this, really I did. As this review of the DVD release of series one shows, the same old jokes keep coming up. The Bear? His tail pops out, Britney Spears likes a pint and Avid Merrion does a sex wee on imagining Davina McCall naked and sitting on the toilet.
Except, that is, for the characters of Craig David and Michael Jackson. You want Michael Jackson funny? Never mind Popbitch's Michael Jackson jokes or even the sight of him sitting up a tree as Martin Bashir tries to interview him from his position on the ground, watch him dismissing Uri Geller as, "...spoon-bending mofo. You take a spoon away from him and he be crying like a baby! Shamone!"...fantastic stuff and Proper Crimbo works by keeping these two but losing the others. Whilst the song opens with a chorus, it's soon into Craig David's garage thing including weeing the bed, mention of a little chipolata to feel alright and the seven days of Christmas, though whether this entails three days of fun in the sack and one day of resting goes unmentioned. The second verse belongs to Michael Jackson so it's, "Shamone...I'm a bad mofo!" but it's the chorus that works best with sleigh bells, choir and Craig David calling out to the crowd to say Selecta to his Bo!
Sure it's a novelty single but when has the race for being number one at Christmas been about credibility. There'll always be a place for Mary Margaret O'Hara's Christmas EP but she never aimed for a slot on Top Of The Pops just before the queen's speech, whereas Bo Selecta! and The Darkness surely are and, for that, they join Slade, Wizzard and Mud in the list of daft but classic Christmas songs. Roll on Christmas for a Proper Crimbo!