Ms Splosion Man Review
Reviewed on Microsoft Xbox 360
This letter mysteriously turned up on the door mat of Twisted Pixel Studios recently:
“Dear men of Beards,
Re: Ms. Splosion Man
Why do you taunt me so? I know you are fully aware of my previous letter dated 22/07/09 regarding your previous game in this series Splosion Man, owing to the cease and desist I received in response. However despite this you continued to forge on and create another maniacal masterpiece that again has ruined my life.
I really hoped, when I rather foolishly downloaded Ms. Splosion Man on XBLA, that it would just be a re-hash of the original. A cash-in sequel on a very popular game. That way I could put it down. Ignore it. I would not have had to write this strongly-worded letter. But no, that apparently is not Twisted Pixel’s way.
Do you not understand how dangerous it is to release something so incredibly addictive and compelling yet totally frustrating into this world? Not only have you taken all the glorious triple-jumping, 2d puzzle-platforming elements previously deployed in Splosion Man but you’ve added even more mischievous devices (such as, but not limited to: Rockets, hover cars, zip lines, background / foreground shifts, exploding wheelchair bound scientists, Possessed women…) that just improve on the already obsessive-compulsive formula. Furthermore, you’ve decided that it would make sense to add completely separate Single-player and Multi-player campaigns which lengthens the already fairly substantial amount of gameplay considerably. My imaginary friends and I (up to 4 of us at once) have spent countless hours laughing / shouting / fighting about how we keep ending up squashed / melted / electrified / committing suicide because it’s just impossible to work as a team. We cannot stop, it is just too exasperatingly good. I can’t stand it.
And, may I add that the level of attention to detail and love that you have put into this game is far beyond the usual call of a developer in these modern apathetic times. Remember, considering this is on XBLA available for only 800MS points, the style is irrepressibly cute and the graphics are stunning but, have you learnt nothing from Gears of War? Colour scenes should be grey, not garish shades of pink, turquoise and green. And was it really necessary to have, for example, some scientists that you kill by 'sploding' fly out of the level and splat satisfyingly against the screen? And how you have thought it would be exceptionally devious to hide secret exits throughout the game, that take you to even more excrutiatingly difficult levels for me to waste my life on. Or, in the case of the exceptionally tongue in cheek tutorial videos that explain the games concepts that actually made me laugh out loud. Do I seem like someone who would normally laugh out loud? Sirs, you have gone too far.
Today for example I spent 2 hours of my life on just one level trying to keep a step ahead of my own ghost run, trying to shave off the seconds and be as fast as possible. And then, just to add insult to injury, you’ve decided to let us download the best times in the world and race against them. Are you trying to ruin my life Twisted Pixel?
Finally, I would like to mention just how infuriatingly brilliant all the songs, voices and noises mashed into this game are. From the constant chirruping of classic female songs by Ms Splosion Man to the panicked screams of the petty scientists. And just like the 'Donut Song' in the original, I cannot get the theme for the possessed woman out of my head. It is burrowed so deep into the root of my mind, I’ve found myself humming it out loud on numerous occasions. Do you want people to think me crazy?
No more 'splode again...
PS: I suppose you think it is funny to sporadically release extra downloadable competition levels for free, and then offer the best times a prize at absolutely no cost. Well, I don’t. There goes another few hours of my life…
PPS: I'm removing one point off your score because the loading screen is possibly the most irritating thing ever made."