E3 Predictions: 2014 Edition

Wahey! Not long now until the E3 madness begins, so a few of us at The Digital Fix had a bit of a chinwag as to what we’d like to see. Things will no doubt leak between now and the big date (June 9th for the first salvo) but for now take a look at our wildly inaccurate predictions and cast your own in the comments!

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So it begins...


Luciano Howard, Reviews Editor

What are you hoping to see at E3?
Uncharted 4 playable demo. Naughty Dog would ensure the PS4 owns the current gen with this one. Nintendo's WiiU Zelda, or a new console. I think they have to do something. They won't but you have that niggling feel they need to, right? Dark Souls III PS4 exclusive. A sequel to Ikaruga on PS4. A current gen Street Fighter. That would make me all giddy. Harmonix bringing back to life plastic instruments and rhythm action.

What do you actually think will happen?
I think we'll see a shedload of WiiU, PS4 and Xbox One games but it will be focused on shooters, Zelda and Uncharted. Nothing Oculussy or Morpheussy and no real fan-sating stuff - too early for PS4/Xbox and for Ninty they'll be scurrying behind the scenes for what to do at their end.

What do you NOT want to see?
Uncharted cancelled due to Amy Hennig's departure; Call of Duty 203; Microsoft Kinect Brilliant 23; No Zelda; An absence of Zelda AND Mario; Anything utilising MOVE

How many shirts will Phil Spencer wear this year?
2 per day, plus an extra for any keynote.

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Will this beauty see the light of day this June?


Steve McCullough, Mobile Game Reviews and Music Maestro

What are you hoping to see at E3?
Cool stuff that would give me the push I need to convince me that getting a new console would be a Good Thing. A large part of this would be the ability to play more classic (preferably enhanced) versions of old games that I love, cheaply and legally. More innovative new ideas from indies.

What do you actually think will happen?
Marketeers will gather and unveil their latest shiny toys for big boys. One of the Big Three will make a Questionable Policy Decision. Someone giving a presentation will use the phrase 'hyper-monetise the user base' and be 100% sincere.

What do you NOT want to see?
Too much focus on multiplayer as if it'll be the only thing that'll matter in coming years. Anything that tries to jump on the social meeeeeeja bandwagon. Anything gimmicky.

How many shirts will Phil Spencer wear this year?
Phil will sport a brand new next-gen shirt system that can download a range of patterns and designs from his e-tailor, and is slackward-compatible with all his existing trousers.

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A new Halo's announced, but what will E3 bring?


Rob Kershaw, Reviewer

What are you hoping to see at E3?
At this point, anything that can convince me that the new generation of consoles has a USP to differentiate it from the PC market other than "you can put it in your living room". Failing that, Dragon Age 3 and Witcher 3 demos. Ideally on PC. I'd also hope for some detail on the impending VR-hardware war because, you know, immersion.

What do you actually think will happen?
The usual selection of bullshots and tech demo footage which will bear not a jot of resemblance to anything that gets released 12 months later. New King.com announcements stating their latest game - Saga Saga - will shortly be released, where your aim is to match 3, 4 or 5 massive bags of money in order to reduce the Mental Capacity Meter of the evil/gullible Whale Player. Once the meter is depleted, a series of subliminal images are flashed up, overlaid by bright colours and catchy music, and you'll have a compelling urge to empty your bank account to continue playing. In response, a host of indie developers will band together to create Saga Saga Saga where the Whale Player is replaced by the Grasping Corporate Vampire, the Mental Capacity Meter changed to the ever decreasing Sense of Morality Meter, and the bags of money substituted for pictorial representations of the souls of innocent gaming children.

In a less cynical vein, new Uncharted, new Zelda, new Halo. New Nintendo console? Rumours abound!

What do you NOT want to see?
Anything to do with microtransactions.

How many shirts will Phil Spencer wear this year?
He will not actually wear shirts, but instead will have shirt images hologrammatically projected onto his naked torso, which cycle every 15 minutes like an exciting new Aero theme.

Addendum to Rob's #4 from Stevie:
The holo-projector will crash, leaving Phil completely naked on stage, but MS fanbois will continue to insist that his shirts ARE still there and are the BEST SHIRTS EVER. This faux pas will be reported in the gaming press as The Spenceror's New Clothes.

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Well, at least that's one use for Illumiroom tech.


Lewis Brown, Editor-in-Chief

What are you hoping to see at E3?
Oh my. Oh my indeed. WHOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOO! Hype train's coming!

Er, yes. So, let's see; I'd mark out like a Luc getting a pony if Wargaming.net announced or even teased a Master of Orion 4. It must have been like 9 months since they bought the IP by now, and while I'm still a little bitter that Stardock missed out on it I just want to see progress on this badboy now. Anything to bring back the magic of MOO2 and erase the pain of MOO3. Just a little more pipe-dreamy, but I'll forever be waiting for a GTA: San Andreas Stories for the Vita, set in the GTAIII era San Andreas. I think people forget just how epic Liberty and Vice City Stories were on the PSP. Gravity Rush 2 - bring that on please!

What do you actually think will happen?
Call of Duty whatever hype, Uncharted 4 trailer and 2016 announcement, loads and loads of Watch_Dogs stuff. Hundreds of crappy app announcements from Sony and Microsoft for the next gen consoles will make me weep on the inside. Maybe some live dems of Sony's 3D headset? E3 is fun because of the hype, not because of what actually happens - true gamers know that!

What do you NOT want to see?
Dear Lord, please no more Wonderbook. Yeah, kids love it, but it's really not going to sell you systems. I don't want to see the Vita ignored, but I know it will be. Whatever we want there will be more Kinect stuff, potentially something from Rare that'll make us shake our heads and remember when they were so very free to do whatever they wanted [ed: maybe not now Kinect has been ditched!]. And I'm probably alone in thinking that I don't want to see another Nintendo console - probably the only one I'd nod and smile at would be a 3DS model with a second analogue stick in-built.

How many shirts will Phil Spencer wear this year?
27, although one will actually just be a reversible one, so I'm not sure how to count it.

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100% more Spacey.


James Marshall, Features Editor

What are you hoping to see at E3?
In a world of magical wish fulfilment it would be Shenmue 3 and a new Valve game that’s not DOTA 2 or hats for an existing property. Also, I’d really like something that justifies my Xbox One - Quantum Break looks like a good start, so let’s see some live gameplay of that. Normally I would’ve said Uncharted, but the Naughty Dog Exodus of 2014 leaves me apprehensive, plaintively grasping for the stability of the Druckmann/Straley beards. I’d like a release date for The Witness and for PHIL FISH to reannounce Fez 2. Moving away from the games, I’d like to see a return of suits with personalities - gone are the days of Peter Moore, Kaz Hirai and even those halcyon times of J Allard. Hell, I’d even go for a cameo from Don Mattrick.

What do you actually think will happen?
Xbox will have Halo 2 Anniversary, further cementing that info dump from NeoGAF a few months ago. As Marty O’Donnell’s remastered music starts up everyone will look sheepish and ask where he actually might be. Forza Horizon 2 will bring us shiny cars driving to the latest NOW That’s What I Call Dance album. Sony will show Uncharted 4 but questions will hang over the whole presentation. We’ll see Mass Effect 4 and whatever Star Wars games have been whisked up by EA. Valve and Shenmue fans will weep a single tear, another year passed with no new info.

What do you NOT want to see?
Call of Duty - or any mainstream FPS for that matter - claiming they have ‘reinvented the genre’. A Bioshock sequel - leave it be. The preponderance of single-player comingling with multiplayer. Sports games - best stay away from EA’s conference then. And, aside from Zelda, no more Nintendo relying on the same stable of mascots.

How many shirts will Phil Spencer wear this year?
Trick question. Microsoft will massively cock-up in the week before the conference - maybe upping LIVE’s price thanks to all the TV, TV, TV on the way - and the ensuing backlash will lead to Spencer quitting to become CEO of a mobile games firm that actually hates games. So, the real question could well be - how many beanie hats will J Allard wear when he descends from the ceiling, god rays piercing the gloom of the conference hall, arms extended to welcome back the Xbox faithful.

Lewis:
Ok. So I just saw the Advanced Warfare trailer. Maybe I do actually want to see more of that now…

So, dear readers, what maketh ye of our deadly premonitions? Let us know what you want to see below!

Last updated: 30/05/2018 22:15:26

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